Today my daughter changed her profile picture. Just a few minutes later, I got a text: “I didn’t know she was dating a Black boy, did you?”
It took me the whole day to think about how I wanted to respond. I didn’t send a personal reply, but I decided to share my thoughts for anyone else who “might not know.”
Yes, I did know. But the color of his skin doesn’t define who he is. What defines him is how he treats my daughter.
I see my daughter with a young man who comes into my home and shows me nothing but respect. That means a lot to me. He always says “Yes Ma’am” and “No Ma’am,” chats with me about football and baseball, tells me goodbye when he leaves, and has never once been rude or disrespectful.
I see a young man who treats my daughter well. He takes her on dates, to games, out to eat—not to clubs or wild parties.
I see a young man who makes faith a priority. Every Sunday, he takes her to church with him. He plays in the band while she sits with his family. None of the others she’s dated ever made church important.
Most of all, I see someone who doesn’t hurt her, lie to her, cuss at her, or make her cry. And if you ask me whether I’d rather her date a disrespectful white boy instead, just to avoid her dating another race my answer is absolutely not.
So here’s my response: my daughter is with someone who loves her, respects her, and treats her like a queen. That’s all I could ever hope for her. I never had that kind of love in my life, but I’m grateful she does.
Credit: Heather Boye