“Mother-in-law demanded access to the daughter-in-law’s accounts, but the daughter-in-law reminded her of this audacity
Anna slowly stirred her coffee, feeling the tension build in her shoulders. From the other side of the kitchen wall came familiar voices — her husband Sergey was explaining something to his mother, and she, as always, was interrupting him with her lectures.
“Sergei, you must control the family budget!” Valentina Nikolaevna’s voice cut through the quiet of the apartment. “The man is the head of the household; he earns the money, so he decides how it’s spent.”
Anna gripped her cup tighter. Three years of marriage, and every Sunday it was the same record playing. Valentina Nikolaevna seemed to have made it her mission to turn family dinners into psychological pressure sessions.
“Mom, we discuss everything,” Sergey replied softly.
“Discuss?!” snorted the mother-in-law. “Then why does your wife buy expensive cosmetics when she could get them for half the price? Why does she order groceries for delivery when she could go to the market and save money?”
Anna set her cup down on the table. Inside, a storm was rising with every word. Expensive cosmetics — that was a cream costing a thousand rubles she had bought two months ago. Ordering groceries saved time, which she desperately lacked between work and home duties.
“Valentina Nikolaevna,” Anna entered the living room, trying to keep her tone controlled, “I work from nine in the morning until seven in the evening. Ordering groceries saves me three hours a week.”
The mother-in-law turned toward her with an expression Anna knew well — a mix of condescension and barely hidden irritation.
“Anya, dear,” Valentina Nikolaevna said ‘dear’ with a tone as if talking to a disobedient child, “a woman must know how to plan her time. And money too. You understand that Sergei earns for the family, so he should know where the money goes?”
“Mom,” Sergey started, but Anna interrupted him.
“I also earn for the family,” her voice firming. “And I earn quite well.”
“Of course, of course,” Valentina Nikolaevna waved her hand dismissively. “But the main income is Sergei’s salary. And your job… well, that’s just a side gig.”
Anna felt something painfully tighten in her chest. A side gig. Her position as a financial analyst at a large company, where her salary was one and a half times higher than her husband’s income, was reduced to ‘just a side gig.’
“I think you don’t quite understand,” Anna sat opposite her mother-in-law, “just how much I earn.”
“Anyochka,” Valentina Nikolaevna smiled a smile that never reached her eyes, “it doesn’t matter how much you earn. What matters is that the man should control the family budget. That’s the foundation of a stable relationship.”
Sergey sat with his eyes lowered. Anna knew that gesture — it was how he responded to any family conflict, as if hoping the problem would resolve itself if he stayed quiet enough.
“So, what exactly are you suggesting?” Anna asked.
“I’m suggesting transparency,” Valentina Nikolaevna leaned forward. “Sergei should know how much you spend and on what. Even better — he should control those expenses. The family budget cannot tolerate chaos.”
“Mom,” Sergey finally spoke, “we live fine, we don’t argue about money…”
“You don’t argue because you don’t know what’s going on with the money!” Valentina Nikolaevna snapped. “What if Anya is hiding something? What if she spends on things you don’t know about?”
Anna felt a fire ignite inside her. Every Sunday the same thing. Every family dinner turned into an interrogation. Any purchase of hers became a cause for a scandal. A new blouse — “why waste money on rags?” Books — “you’d better buy something useful for the house.” Even a birthday gift for a friend drew angry remarks about “wastefulness.”
“Valentina Nikolaevna,” Anna stood up, feeling her hands tremble with anger, “I am not going to account to you for every penny I spend.”
“To me?” the mother-in-law also stood. “I’m not demanding you report to me! I’m demanding that you be honest with your husband!”
“I am honest with my husband!”
“Then why are you against him controlling the expenses?”
“Because I am an adult and can decide for myself how to spend the money I earn!”
Valentina Nikolaevna narrowed her eyes. Something cold, almost hostile, flashed in them.
“Earned by you? Anya, dear, you forget you live in an apartment bought by my son. You eat the groceries he buys. You use the car he pays for. Maybe it’s time to face reality?..
Continued in the comment”