My Mom had been in the hospital for two weeks.
It was a Sunday night (in 2018). I found two back-to-back documentaries for us to binge-watch. One was about The Pope and the other was about The Kennedys: Two of Mom’s favorite things!
She asked me to get into bed with her, the way we would watch movies at our house, after chemo.
As I slid into the hospital bed, I felt how tiny my Mom’s body had become. She was a skeleton. I could feel my heart breaking.
My Mom questioned what I was thinking about (I guess I don’t have much of a poker face). I told her I couldn’t believe her eyelashes had fully grown in.
‘WHAT?!?’ she shrieked, as her eyes widened with excitement.
‘Did you get eyelash extensions? Seriously. Tell me the truth. I won’t tell anyone,’ I said, trying to look super serious.
My Mom laughed the cutest giggle, almost as if she was a little girl again. Mom loved when I would gently rub her tiny bald head- She said it took her anxiety away. I rubbed it a few times, stopped and stared my Mom in the eyes again. I was visibly angered.
‘What’s wrong?’ my Mom asked.
‘Ummm, when were you going to tell me YOUR HAIR’S grown back, as thick and shiny as ever?!?’ I said, trying my darnedest to sound and look irritated.
My Mom’s face lit up like ‘The Rockefeller Tree’ at Christmas. I’ve only seen that kind of pure joy a few times in my life. Her happiness, in that moment, was electrifying! My heart, which was breaking only moments before, was patching itself up, as my Mom laughed WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.
‘What can I say? I’m a lucky ducky’ she giggled, as she blinked her eyes and tilted her head from side-to-side, trying to taunt me with her supermodel eyelashes and professional salon-looking hair.
‘You’re lucky I love you, Mom, or else I’d hate you for being THIS gorgeous while IN the hospital,’ I said, smiling.
Her joy had rubbed off on me. My entire soul felt full of her light.
We nuzzled-in to watch those documentaries. I kept looking over at mom. Her radiant smile remained on her perfect face.
It was in that moment I realized my Mom had WON her battle with Pancreatic Cancer, even though she took her last breath a few hours later.
Credit : Amanda Sullivan.
